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Top 50 Funny Mom Quotes for Mother’s Day
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Being a parent is tough, but a little humor gets us through! These funny mom quotes are perfect for when you need a relatable laugh or some funny mom sayings about the struggles of parenthood.
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Parenting is HARD. As I continue this journey of raising my four children, I have learned to live by two important rules:
- Soak up every moment because the days are long but the years truly are short. So, get those extra snuggles, spend those few extra minutes with your little one before bed instead of doing work, and take as many pictures as you can.
- The second thing I have learned is you MUST laugh! It’s so easy to get bogged down in the daily stressors of parenthood and life in general, but learning to take a step back and laugh at yourself, the situation, or the curve balls life is throwing you is the only way to get through it in one piece!
So, maybe it’s Sunday night and you’re looking for a pick me up before the dreaded week begins. Or it’s Monday morning and you’ve got a minute to yourself with your cup of coffee you’ve reheated 4 times this morning already. Or you’re looking for some funny Mother’s Day quotes to make yourself or another mom smile.
Either way, I have some funny mom quotes that are guaranteed to make you chuckle!
If these funny quotes made your week, make it part of your routine with
this coloring book for mom – therapeutic AND hilarious!
Funny Mom Quotes for the Sleep-Deprived Mom
“Sleep when the baby sleeps. Fold laundry when the baby folds laundry.”
Yep, and cry when the baby cries. It’s what all the good moms do from lack of sleep.
“Parents complain about not getting enough sleep then stay up late scrolling through Instagram and Zillow. It’s me. I’m parents.”
All your husband needs to know in the morning when you’re asking for coffee, is that you were up late. Period.
“It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them. ”
How will they function if I am not ten steps ahead?!
“Sleeping with a toddler is like sharing a bed with a drunk octopus who is looking for his car keys.”
Oh, don’t mind me, I’ll just sleep on my side at the edge of the bed the next 3 years.
“Every night I try to get 8 hours of sleep in 4 hours.”
“Them: ‘You look tired.’
Me: ‘I have kids. I’m pretty sure this is just my face now.’”
Is this an upgrade or downgrade from my pre-kid RBF?
“Working mothers are like guinea pigs in a science experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life.”
I think we can agree here that “working mothers” is redundant, because we ALL work. The results are in: Sleep. Is. Very. Necessary.
Mom Quotes About Doing it All:
“Based on the amount of laundry I have to do on a daily basis; I’m going to assume there are people living in this house that I haven’t met yet. ”
Maybe these mystery humans will take a turn on the chore wheel.
“Hey NASA, do you mind looking for my son’s shoes while you’re on Mars? He’s looked ‘everywhere.’”
But, did you look with your eyes open? You must have inherited this skill from your dad.
“How to keep up with laundry:
1. You can’t.
2. Find a new dream.”
Just a heads up: the dishes situation isn’t much better over here at the Seghetti house.
“I feel like nobody prepared me for how long I’d be wiping my kids’ butts and I’m not ok with it.”
It’s a promotion from diapers, but I mean, barely.
Related: How to potty train your toddler the easy way
“Now, tell me more about these ‘days off’ and ‘weekends’ you speak of and how do I sign up for them?”
Week-END? When does this week ‘end’ that you speak of? Parenting can sure feel a little bit like Groundhog Day. I see you, Bill Murray.
“Being a mom means having to choose between eating, showering, or sleeping. You can’t do all three in one day.”
I guess you could attempt all 3 at once? I can tell you this: the sleeping didn’t happen for me today, and showering isn’t looking so promising either. Tomorrow is another day.
“I feel like I should create a recording of me saying PLEASE CLEAN THAT UP so I can hit play 500 times a day.”
Also needed: Get out of the cabinet, don’t sit on the dog, put your penis away, and don’t lick that.
Such a long and never-ending journey it is.
“Parenthood is a journey except it’s just traveling from room to room putting away the same toys all day long.”
Such a long and never-ending journey it is. At least I’m getting my steps in.
Funny Mom Quotes About Making Mom Friends:
“Just saw a mom driving down the road in her minivan, windows down blaring 90’s hip hop, eye rolling at a loudly whining kid…If that was you and you’re reading this, come over. I have White Claw.”
Did we just become best friends? YEP!
“I see you have created a tiny human. I, too, have done this.”
After a certain age, it feels tough to make quality friends (kind of like in high school but older)! Why not try to be nice and direct about it, with a dash of awkward?
“Not all who wander are lost. Some are Moms, in Target, filling their carts with a bunch of things they don’t even need.”
Preach. This was me this morning. I tell you what – Going to target mid-morning on a Tuesday is probably one of the best ways to make a new mom friend. It’s the equivalent to a packed club on a Saturday night full of men trying to pick up a wife. You already know you have one thing in common: mutual love of the Dollar Spot!
“A good mom friend will volunteer to be on your kid’s emergency contact list for school. A great mom friend will laugh and not judge you when you let her know she’s already been on the emergency contact list for three years. ”
They would have figured it out, eventually.
“Everyone needs a mom friend they can text and say ‘This stage of parenting might just kill me. Just wanted to let you know in case I don’t make it.’”
We will ALL make it. We need that support though; it takes a village for sure!
“Currently approaching my kids’ friends based on which parents I think will drink wine with me on play dates.”
You bring the wine, I’ll bring the lawn chairs to sit in while we watch the kids run amok in the yard. (BTW I got this travel tumbler in my last FabFitFun box and it’s perfect for sipping during soccer practice, just saying!)
“When you try to make plans with other mom friends and you realize none of you are free for the next 20 years.”
That was cute. Nice try, better luck next time.
“Moms, instead of judging each other, let’s support each other like we used to when we were drunk in the club bathrooms. ”
Get it, girl. You’re killin’ this mom thing!
“Momversation: When you’re mid-convo with another mom and you need to stop mid-sentence to yell at your kid, then you pick back up exactly where you left off without missing a beat.”
Where was I?
Finally, for all you moms who remember Mean Girls, I’m sure you can relate: “I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom.”
Quotes for Mom with Friendly Jabs About Dads:
“My husband coughing the moment I got the baby to sleep is why spouses are the number one suspect in homicide cases.”
We have a saying in our household: ‘You wake her, you take her.’
“I don’t want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.”
Yes, please. Just one glorious night.
“I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you’re a great mom. Those kids are just bad. They probably got that gene from their dad.”
And don’t you forget it!
“Daddy’s a lot nicer than you are, Mommy.
That’s probably due to all of the extra rest he gets, dear.”
Now get outta my face.
“On my nightstands, there’s a baby monitor, tissues, sound machine, nose frida, fan remote, glass of water, two pacifiers, hair tie, and my phone. On my husband’s nightstand, a phone. If that doesn’t perfectly sum up motherhood and fatherhood, I don’t know what does.”
Yup, perfect summary.
“I just bought my husband a ‘get better soon’ card. He’s not sick…I just think he could be better.”
“Being a mom means kids banging on the door like SWAT, asking for a drink, while you’re in the shower…And dad is in the kitchen.”
If you can relate to these cheeky quotes like me about dad, go ahead and check out this T-shirt – a funny mom shirt is the perfect purchase for mom’s next birthday or Mother’s Day!
FYI – I jokingly give my husband a hard time, but all in good fun. He’s actually pretty awesome and I put together this list of loving and motivational quotes for husbands because of it.
Funny Mommy Quotes About No Privacy:
“If I ever go missing, please follow my kids. They can find me no matter where I try to hide.”
When are they going to finish inventing that invisibility cloak from Harry Potter?
“You know you’re a mom when being in the car alone is exciting.”
If there was EVER a Mother’s Day quote that was so perfect, it’s this one. Driving alone is the only time nowadays I can listen to MY music.
“If you’ve never said ‘you need to back up a little so I can wipe myself,’ then do you even have kids?”
You’re in my bubble. And literally my inspiration for creating this TikTok.
“What do I want for Mother’s Day? A night of uninterrupted sleep, a hot cup of coffee, and 5 minutes to poop alone. ”
Leaving this one right here for my husband so he can’t say he didn’t know EXACTLY what I want.
“80% of parenting is yelling through a closed bathroom door.”
Wait, closed? Tell me how this works, moms! You may think it changes when your kid turns 19. It doesn’t.
Funny Mom Sayings About Food:
“Yes, please get a new cup every time you need a drink of water – said no mom ever.”
And please, spill at least a cup a week all over the floor while you’re at it. Thanks.
“You’re not the boss of me’, I whisper under my breath, as I make 4 different lunches for my kids.”
Don’t worry, I’ll just use the scraps to assemble my lunch.
“Parenting is: Buying 5 bananas and watching them all get eaten in one day. Then buying 8 bananas and watching them rot because ‘nobody likes bananas.”
I…I give up.
“‘It’s spicy’- Universal mom code for ‘I don’t want to share. ’”
So much of my chocolates are too “spicy” for my kids. Shhhh.
“If you don’t have remnants of cereal or granola bar at the bottom of our purse, are you even a mom?”
I was saving that for later, you know.
“Some days I amaze myself. Other days I put laundry in the oven.”
I’d say it’s about 50/50.
“Most of my time as a mother has been spent in a closet, eating something I didn’t want to share.“
Mom hack: I like to keep my Oreos in the console in my car. They still haven’t found my secret hiding place.
Funny Parenting Quotes From Celebrities:
“The majority of my diet is made up of foods that my kids didn’t finish.” – Carrie Underwood
Running on fumes and Goldfish crackers over here.
“I know how to do anything – I’m a mom.” – Roseanne Barr
And if I don’t know, Google will help me figure it out. Then I’ll do 3 things at once.
“The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.” – Lane Olinghouse
In my case, it’s the quickest way for the little ones to wake up from a nap!
“A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it!” – Jerry Seinfeld
I can’t imagine handling two at once!
“Raising a kid is part joy and part guerilla warfare.” – Ed Asner
This was something they should have included in What to Expect When You’re Expecting.
Other Funny Mother’s Day Quotes and Mom Jokes on Being a Hot Mess and Just Surviving!
“Messy hair, don’t care. Actually, I DO care. It’s just that motherhood has forced me to lower my standards by a LOT.”
As long as there’s nothing stuck in my hair, we are golden.
“I just broke up a fight between my daughter and her doll in case you’re wondering what parenting an only child is like. ”
They doll won this round.
“Once you stop being stressed if they mix the Play-doh colors, the second part of your life begins.”
Who cares? They’re just going to leave the top off the container and let all the mixed colors dry up anyway.
“School drop off: Where my kids look like GAP models and I look like a cast member of the Walking Dead.”
Speaking of MOMsters:
“MOMster: What happens to mom after she counts to three.”
Don’t make me transform. Not today.
“When your ‘mom voice’ is so loud even the neighbors brush their teeth and get dressed.”
Maybe we should move to the country where I don’t need to modulate my ‘requests.’
Hey Mama. I see you. We laugh but we know mommin’ is hard.
Just remember, no matter how long those days feel, you’re absolutely amazing and completely awesome.
Being a mom of four is the hardest thing I’ve done so far, and I know it isn’t going to get any easier any time soon. But these kids are worth it, and at least with some funny mom quotes handy, I can laugh about it.
Because that’s what helps us get through the day right?
When your kid takes off their diaper and smears their poop, when they dump their snack out and the dog eats it faster than you can pick it up, or when you realize you’ve been walking around Target with your nursing bra unhooked on both sides and your shirt pulled halfway up….you just have to laugh.
Do you have any funny mom quotes to share? Maybe an original one of your own? Please share in a comment – I’d love to read them the next time I’m hiding from my kids!
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beautiful phrases in English
What phrases can be called beautiful — those that speak of something sublime or those that caress the ear? We are for the option when both the meaning and the sound are equally beautiful.
Today we offer to replenish your knowledge base with beautiful phrases and phrases in English. And also, learn how famous English sayings and wise thoughts are translated. By the way, all words and expressions can be memorized on our platform using a special spaced vocabulary repetition simulator. And you can hone your mastery of the word on the simulator of written speech.
Earlier we wrote about the most beautiful words in the English language. Such words were recognized as those that both for native speakers and for foreigners sound equally pleasant. Moreover, not always an euphonious word has a beautiful meaning or implies something good.
Another thing is beautiful phrases (beautiful phrases) that can be used in everyday speech. When we say that some statement sounds “beautiful”, we mean that it carries some meaning, life wisdom, or just fits the situation perfectly. It is these phrases that we will talk about today.
Beautiful phrases in English with translation
In fact, even one beautiful word in a sentence will make it more refined. We recommend learning a few sonorous words to apply them on occasion. And here are some beautiful phrases that you can remember:
Forever young — Forever young
Little by little — Little by little
Mother nature — Mother nature
Beauty and the Beast — Beauty and the Beast
Freedom and peace — Freedom and peace
Love and hope — Love and hope
Aspire to inspire — Strive to inspire
Perfectly imperfect — Perfectly imperfect
Find your own beautiful phrase: try to compose it yourself or notice others in conversations and take it into service.
Beautiful short phrases in English with translation
There are quite a lot of phrases that express our thoughts not only beautifully, but also quite capaciously.
Never look back. — Never look back.
A life is a moment. “Life is a moment.
All we need is love. — All we need is Love.
enjoy every moment. — Enjoy every moment.
follow your heart. — Follow your heart.
Often these phrases become the basis for tattoos or appear in statuses on social networks.
I shall not live in vain. “I will not live in vain.
live without regrets. — Live without regrets.
Live for yourself. — Live for yourself.
Strive for greatness. — Strive for greatness.
Many of these phrases can be found on motivational posters or pictures, as well as on notebooks, accessories and clothing.
Work hard. dream big. — Work hard. Dream big.
Be a voice, not an echo. Be a voice, not an echo.
You are your only limit. “Your only limit is yourself.
Let it be. — So be it.
Wait and see — Let’s wait and see
Money often costs too much. “Money is often worth too much.
Cherish the moments. — Enjoy the moment.
Imagination rules the world. “Imagination rules the world.
More phrases in English that you can use for your social media status can be found in this article: Social media statuses in English.
Beautiful English sayings and phrases with meaning
Most of these motivational phrases are related to life experiences, dreams and hopes.
Do something with passion or not at all. Do something with passion or don’t do it at all.
Illusion is the first of all pleasures. Illusion is the highest pleasure.
It’s better to have ideals and dreams than nothing. Better to have dreams and ideals than nothing.
Only my dream keeps me alive. “Only my dream keeps me alive.
Be loyal to the one who is loyal to you. — Be loyal to those who are loyal to you.
Everything happens for a reason. “Everything happens for a reason.
If you never try, you will never know. “If you don’t try, you won’t know.
It’s never too late to be what you might have been. It’s never too late to be who you could be.
Some people are poor; all they have is money. — Some people are poor; all they have is money.
Sayings about the very process of thinking, about memories and dreams are also popular.
The memory warms you up inside, but it also breaks your soul apart. — Memory not only warms from the inside, but also tears the soul apart.
Stretching his hand out to catch the stars, he forgets the flowers at his feet. — Stretching out his hands to the stars, a person forgets about the flowers at his feet.
When you start thinking a lot about your past, it becomes your present and you can’t see your future without it. — When you start thinking a lot about the past, it becomes your present, behind which you can no longer see the future.
Memories take us back, dreams take us forward. Memories pull us back, dreams make us move forward.
Be careful with your thoughts. — they are the beginning of deeds — Be careful with your thoughts, because they are the beginning of deeds.
Remember that the most dangerous prison is the one in your head. “Remember that the most dangerous prison is in your head.
We all live different lives, make our own mistakes, achieve certain successes and realize our ideas. But for the most part, our life is similar to the life of others, so statements about it are close to us:
Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans. Life is what happens while you are making other plans.
Life is a one time offer, use it well. Life is a one time offer, use it wisely.
Life begins at the end of your comfort zone — Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. — Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
Live each day as if it’s your last. “Live each day as if it were your last.
Life is beautiful. enjoy the ride. — Life is Beautiful. Enjoy your ride.
Do not squander time – this is stuff life is made of. Don’t waste your time, that’s the stuff life is made of.
Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood. — Life is a series of lessons that must be lived in order to understand.
The future belongs to those who believe in their dreams. The future belongs to those who believe in their dreams.
And of course, the most beautiful phrases are born thanks to the most beautiful feeling in the world — love.
The best thing in our life is love. The best thing in our life is love.
The inevitable price we pay for our happiness is eternal fear to lose it. The inevitable price we pay for our happiness is the eternal fear of losing it.
For the world you may be just one person, but for one person you may be the whole world. — For the world you can be just someone, but for someone you are the whole world.
The course of true love never did run smooth. The path of true love is never smooth.
It was love at first sight, at last sight, at ever and ever sight. — It was love at first sight, at the last sight, at the eternal sight.
Real beauty lives in the heart, is reflected in the eyes and leads to action. — True beauty lives in the heart, is reflected in the eyes and manifests itself in actions.
Beautiful quotes from famous people
Among the statements of famous people, there are quite a few beautiful phrases about life, love and dreams. Most of them belong, of course, to those for whom the word is a matter of life, that is, writers.
Youth is counted sweetest by those who are no longer young. Youth is dearest of all to those who are no longer young. (Johnny Green)
Life is wasted on the living. Life is wasted on living. (Douglas Adams)
To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence. “It takes two things to succeed in life: ignorance and self-confidence. (Mark Twain)
Never regret anything that made you smile. “Never regret what made you smile. (Mark Twain)
To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that’s all. “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people just exist. (Oscar Wilde)
To a great mind nothing is little. Nothing is small for a great mind. (Arthur Conan Doyle)
When words fail, music speaks. When words fail, music speaks. (Hans Christian Andersen)
Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination. “Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination. (Oscar Wilde)
Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do. Do not bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself. Always dream and strive to exceed your limits. Don’t aim to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Strive to be better than yourself. (William Faulkner)
Success does not consist in never making mistakes but in never making the same one a second time. — The secret of success is not not to make mistakes, but not to repeat the same mistakes twice. (Bernard Show)
Other well-known people are not far behind the masters of writing: politicians, thinkers, scientists and entrepreneurs.
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. Simplicity is the highest degree of sophistication. (Leonardo da Vinci)
Have no fear of perfection; you’ll never reach it. — Do not be afraid of perfection; you will never reach it. (Salvador Dali)
Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing about (Benjamin Franklin)
Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. (Steve Jobs)
Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny. Life would be tragic if it weren’t so funny. (Stephen Hawking)
I don’t like those cold, precise, perfect people, who, in order not to speak wrong, never speak at all, and in order not to do wrong never do anything. “I don’t like these cold, neat, perfect people who, in order not to say wrong, say nothing at all, and in order not to commit a wrong deed, do nothing at all. (Henry Beecher)
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. “There are only two ways to live your life. The first is as if there are no miracles. The second — as if everything in the world is a miracle. (Albert Einstein)
Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs. “Fulfill your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to fulfill theirs. (Farrah Gray)
Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. “Success is not the key to happiness. This happiness is the key to success. (Albert Schweitzer)
When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. That’s my religion. When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad things, I feel bad. Here is my religion. (Abraham Lincoln)
I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions. “I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions. (Stephen Covey)
Cinematographers and musicians are also known for their quotes, whose subtle spiritual organization has given the world many beautiful phrases.
Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. “Love is fire. But whether it will warm your hearth or burn down your house, you never know for sure. (Joan Crawford)
The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering. “The key to immortality is, above all, a life worth remembering. (Bruce Lee)
Love the life you live, and live the life you love. Love the life you live and live the life you love. (Bob Marley)
Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today. Dream like you’ll live forever, live like you’ll die today. (James Dean)
Music can change the world because it can change people. Music can change the world because it can change people. (Bono)
Music, at its essence, is what gives us memories. And the longer a song has existed in our lives, the more memories we have of it. “Music, at its core, gives us memories. And the longer the song exists in our lives, the more memories we have of it. (Stevie Wonder)
And finally, here is the well-known statement of one of the most prominent musicians of the last century — John Lennon:
When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.
“When I was five years old, my mother always said that happiness is the main thing in life. When I went to school, they asked me what I want to be when I grow up. I wrote: «Happy man.» Then they told me that I didn’t understand the question, and I answered that they don’t understand life.”
Remember that although the concept of «beauty» is quite subjective, sonorous words and intonation draw attention to any speech. This «trick» is often used by well-known speakers. So why don’t we adopt a couple of phrases from them to diversify our English? Speak beautifully!
If you don’t know any words from these expressions, on our site you can add them to your personal dictionary for further memorization. And you can consolidate and bring the learned words into speech by signing up for classes with the best teachers.
Funny aphorisms about mother
Funny aphorisms about mother. Only the best and most famous aphorisms and funny sayings. The most complete collection of aphorisms on all topics. If you are looking for funny aphorisms, then the site Aphorisms.ru is especially for you.
- pro boy 14
- about mother and daughter 1
- Pro March 13
- about minibus 4
- about carnival 1
- pro oil 2
- pro mat 4
- about mathematicians and physicists 1
- about mathematics 2
- pro mother 17
- about cars 14
- pro medals 1
- pro bear 3
- about medicine 22
- pro nurses 2
- small change 5
- pro mercedes 1
- about the dead 1
Funny aphorisms about mother
If there is no food in the house and the children are crap one’s pants, then the mother spent the whole day on the Internet!
Jews powder their brains all over the world — their nationality is from their mother, their pedigree is from their father.
A woman’s life should have two main books: her mother’s cookbook and her father’s checkbook.
If she thinks that you eat and sleep a lot, then she is not your mother.
Diet is like a rodeo: if you can’t resist, it will blow you to hell!
The mother of 11 children said that the only thing she lacks for the complete collection is Aquarius.
A young dad is alone at home with a child and sings a lullaby to him: Bayu-bayushki-bayu. Where is your mother?
Falling in love is when you wait for your beloved to return from a trip and spend time together. Love is when you expect your loved one to take the kids to mom for a week, and you will come off with friends and beer.
A stubborn child is the result of the unreasonable behavior of the mother.
If you like to ride, go to hell.