35 Sweet Step Daughter Quotes That Will Touch Her Heart
ByLauren @ Simply-Well-Balanced
The bond between a step-parent and a stepdaughter is a special one that you may not understand unless you’ve experienced it yourself.
Raising a child like they are your own takes love, kindness and character. You must prove that you are trustworthy, loyal and responsible.
These step daughter quotes capture the emotions and unconditional love that comes with being a stepparent.
While you may not have planned to have a stepdaughter, you can’t seem to imagine what life would be like without her.
She has become a part of your life, your family and your heart and there is nothing that will ever change that.
If you are looking for the right words to tell your stepdaughter how much you love her then the quotes and sayings below are just what you need.
If your connection with your step-daughter is still growing be sure to take a look at these quotes about mother-daughter bonding or try some of the these great bonding ideas to help strengthen your relationship.
The Best Quotes to Share with Your Step Daughter
We would love for you to share these quotes with your stepdaughter! Please share on social media and use as captions on your photos.
I didn’t give you the gift of life, but life gave me the gift of you.
You may not have my eyes or my smile, but you’ll always have my heart.
I never knew I would have a step daughter, and now I don’t know what I would do without one.
I wasn’t there the day you were born, but I have loved you as my own since the first time I saw you.
A step daughter is a gift that keeps on giving.
God knew I needed a step daughter and he chose you.
You will never know how much it has meant to me to have you as a step daughter. Thank you for allowing me to love someone more than I ever knew was possible.
Thank you for being so much more than my step daughter. You are a blessing, a gift and my best friend.
I thought I was lucky to marry your dad, but it turns out that I’m even luckier to have you as a step daughter.
Every day I am impressed by your strengths, talents and your ability to love. Thank you for being an amazing stepdaughter.
Step Mom and Step Daughter Quotes
I’m the proud stepmom to an amazing step daughter.
Dear stepdaughter, I hope you know that having a stepmom means that you always have my love and support no matter what.
I may not have been there when your life began, but I will be here for you until my life ends.
You’re not my step daughter, you’re my daughter. You just happened to be born before I met you.
Being your stepmom has been the greatest joy and privilege of my life.
My love for my stepdaughter doesn’t come from my dna, it comes from my heart.
Having a daughter turned me into a mom. Having a stepdaughter turned me into a bonus mom.
I’m not just your stepmom, I’m also your biggest fan and someone you can always count on to support you no matter what.
Quotes From a Stepfather to Step Daughter
Being a stepdad is more than I ever expected and better than I ever imagined.
Being your stepdad means I will always cheer for you, be proud of you and love you.
I didn’t know how to be a step dad, but having you as a step daughter makes it so easy.
Being your step dad has been the best gift I have ever been given.
Stepdaughter, being a part of your life has inspired me to be the best step dad I can be.
I Love My Step Daughter Sayings
My step daughter has given me the chance to experience what a mother’s love feels like from the inside out.
There’s no other love like the love from a stepdaughter.
Dear Step Daughter, Thank you for loving me and trusting me. I am so lucky to be a part of your life and your family.
The love from my stepdaughter is the greatest love I have ever known.
I hope you always know I couldn’t possibly love you more than I already do. As far as my heart is concerned you are my daughter not my step daughter.
My stepdaughter has taught me what unconditional love is all about.
What a gift it is to have a stepdaughter as wonderful as you.
My stepdaughter has my whole heart for my whole life.
Dear Step Daughter, I will always be here for you no matter what.
Stepdaughter – you are the best thing that has ever happened to me.
My stepdaughter has become a part of my life, my family and my heart and nothing can ever change that.
Bonus Daughter Captions
To My Amazing Bonus Daughter: Thank you for allowing me to be your Extra Mom.
Stepdaughter, your love for me means more than you will ever know. I may not be your mom, but being your bonus mom has been the greatest adventure of my life.
I was so excited to marry your dad, but it turns out the greatest bonus was you!
You May Also Like:
- 50+ Bonding Mother-Daughter Quotes On Unconditional Love
- How to Make a Happy Home: 10 Habits That Make A Difference
- 50 Simple Parent-Child Bonding Activities
Lauren @ Simply-Well-Balanced
Hi, I’m Lauren Tingley; a working, teacher-mom of two who tried to «do it all» and ended up losing myself in the process. Determined to find joy in modern motherhood I discovered simplifying was the answer. Now I share tips for fun family activities, minimalist homemaking and simple parenting advice on Simply Well Balanced for families looking to create more balance in their homes. My ideas and advice has been shared by Parents Magazine, Good Housekeeping and Women’s First.Read more about me! Or follow me on Pinterest or Instagram
80 Touching Stepdaughter Quotes For Proud Stepparents
If you have been looking for some inspirational quotes about your stepdaughter, I welcome you to my collection of the best stepdaughter quotes for all the proud stepparents out there!
Being a stepparent is an extremely challenging task, but it can also be joyful and fulfilling. Once you navigate being a part of a blended family and form a healthy relationship with your stepchild, you will reach a place where stepparenting becomes incredibly rewarding.
To that end, I’ve collected the best family quotes I could find on the internet about having a stepdaughter you adore.
These stepmom quotes and stepdad quotes are all about creating a sphere where sharing love is more important than sharing blood.
You’ll find the most touching love quotes that capture the special bond between a stepparent and stepdaughter and plenty of inspirational quotes about a blended family situation. You’ll also read some beautiful step daughter birthday quotes.
Let’s dive into my collection of stepdaughter quotes!
10 Best Stepdaughter Quotes
1. “I don’t have a stepdaughter. I have a daughter that was born before I met her.” ― Lani Lynn Vale
2. “Families don’t have to match. You don’t have to look like someone else to love them.” ― Leigh Anne Tuohy
3. “Intimacy between stepchildren and stepparents is indeed proverbially difficult.” ― Murasaki Shikibu
4. “No one can replace your real mom, not even me. But I promise you this — you can count on me anytime. I’ll always be here for you and love you with all my heart. ” — Jane
5. “A stepdaughter is the daughter nature didn’t give you, but the one life blessed you with.” — Ronit Cytheria
6. “A stepparent doesn’t just marry a spouse. They marry the spouse in the entire situation. They must embrace the stepdaughters and sons as their own .” — Ronit Cytheria
7. “God has answered your prayers. Not only did he give you a new partner in life, but he also gave you a beautiful stepdaughter whom you could love and cherish.” — Jane
8. “Stepparent is not around to replace a biological parent, rather augment a child’s life experience.” — Azriel Johnson
9. “Stepparenting is like working at a late-night convenience store—all of the responsibility and none of the authority.” — Valerie J Lewis Coleman
10. “I am not just your stepmom. I am so much more — I am a bonus mom or second mom, whichever you adore.” — B. Doyle
Inspirational Quotes About Stepdaughter
1. “My precious stepdaughter and I may not share the same blood, but we do share the same love, and that’s the only thing that really matters in a family. And I’m glad I have her in my life.”
2. “My stepdaughter is the best thing that ever happened to me. We might not be blood-related, but we’ve been treating each other like family, and days with her are getting better.”
3. “The world would be a brighter place if only everyone treated each other like family. That’s why I always put my mind to making it very easy for me to love my new wife’s family, especially her sweet little daughter, who is now my own beloved stepdaughter.”
4. “Stepparents can be awesome. Because their love is a choice.”
5. “My stepdaughter is full of beauty and grace with an excellent character. She was indeed raised well by her real mother, and I will do my best to raise her just as good or even better. She’s so precious to me.”
6. “A stepdaughter is fragile, and it’s your duty to protect her. She lost her parent, and you’re the only hope that can help her go through the tough times of missing her loved one. Be patient with her because no little girl should ever go through such a tragedy. And since you’re her stepparent, make her days happier and more alive. Love her as your own.”
7. “She is my bonus daughter, and she’s worth fighting for.”
8. “Parenthood requires love, not DNA.”
9. “Although I didn’t give you the gift of life, I am very lucky to have life give me you as a gift. My stepdaughter, I truly love you and will be there for you no matter what.”
10. “A stepdaughter is a little angel given by God. We may not be related to my blood, but we’re still family, and I’ll do whatever it takes to keep her happy.”
11. “Dear bio parent: I will not love my stepchild under your conditions. I will love them unconditionally.”
12. “My lovely stepdaughter, if only you could see yourself through my eyes, then you would see how brave, strong, and smart you truly are. And I am very fortunate to get to witness it every day!“
13. Biological, nonbiological, step, etc. These are the only words often tossed in a blended family. But they do not change the fact that I love you with all my heart! Nothing can ever change that!
14. “I didn’t give you the gift of life. Life gave me the gift of you.”
15. “I always tell my stepdaughter she is beautiful, but I also make sure she knows she is strong, smart, and capable, too.”
Beautiful Stepmom And Daughter Quotes
1. “Stepdaughter, your love for me means more than you will ever know. I may not be your mom, but being your bonus mom has been the greatest adventure of my life.”
2. “To my stepdaughter, I love you, and you’re so precious to me. You deserve all the good things in life because you’re certainly such a sweetheart, and I’m grateful that you have been treating and loving me like your real mother. I know I can’t replace her, but always remember that I’m doing my best to keep you happy. I love you so much.”
3. “No man is an island indeed, so as time passed, I married someone, and I had a bonus! I have a loving and charming husband and a cheerful stepdaughter. My days have been blissful and no longer lonely ever since I became a part of this little family.”
4. “I cannot replace my stepdaughter’s biological mother, and I know I can’t do better than her mother because she has a special place in her heart, but I’ll do my best to be a good stepmother to her so I can have a special place in her heart too.”
5. “My stepdaughter is still young and fragile, but I know she’s strong inside. And I’ll be her stepmom, who’s going to support her all the time and give her all the love she needs.”
6. “My stepdaughter doesn’t have my eyes nor my hair color because I am not her real mother, but she will always be the most beautiful thing to me as if she was my own. I will love her just as much as her father does.”
7. “My dear stepdaughter, you are not losing a part of your mom, you are gaining the life-lasting love and support of a new friend who just happens to adore your mother.”
8. “Love does not limit only to those people whom you share the same blood with. Love is when you treat someone like family and choose to give that someone your everything, like how I do with my new husband and stepdaughter. I love them both so much.”
9. ‘I am a proud stepmom to an incredible stepdaughter.’
10. “A stepmother’s love for her stepdaughter is truly beautiful and amazing because she chooses to love someone so deeply even if her stepdaughter is not related to her by blood because that’s what family is all about.”
11. “My stepdaughter didn’t trust me at first, but I worked hard to gain her trust. Not to impress my husband, but to show my stepdaughter that she can always count on me and that I’ll pour all my love on her even if I was not the one who gave birth to her.”
12. It’s never a dull moment with my stepdaughter. We have lots of fun together, and I’m glad we treat each other like sisters and even best friends! Every moment spent with her is something I’ll remember forever. I love my wacky stepdaughter.”
13. “I love my step daughter because she’s like my best friend and my sister. We go shopping together, she helps me with the groceries, we get our nails done together, and we tell secrets to each other. Having a stepdaughter is a lot of fun, and I love her very much.”
14. “Not flesh of my flesh nor bone of my bone but still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute, you didn’t grow under my heart but in it.”
15. “Dear stepdaughter, I hope you know that having a stepmom means that you always have my love and support, no matter what.”
Stepdad To Daughter Quotes
1. “You are my stepdaughter and my little princess. I am your stepdad, and I will do my best to provide all the things you need, give you all my love, and make sure you’re happy. Because you mean the world to me.” – Ronit Cytheria
2. “Being your stepdad is enough to make me love you with my entire heart.”
3. “I do not look down on my stepdaughter just because she isn’t originally my daughter. I chose the woman I love to be my wife, even if she already has a daughter. And I have chosen to love her daughter as well and work hard for them and be an awesome dad.”
4. “To my stepdaughter: If I could give you one thing, it would be the ability to see yourself through my eyes. Then you would see what a beautiful person you truly are.”
5. “I would cross oceans for my stepdaughter because she trusts me and loves me, even when she knows we are not connected by blood.”
6. “Stepdaughters are just as precious as daughters. Just because you married a woman with a daughter doesn’t mean you can neglect her child. Love her child as your own, you married, and now you’re a family.”
7. “You may be my stepdaughter, but I’ll always love you as my own. The moment I said I do to your mother was also the moment that I vowed to be your loving father.”
8. “God has answered my prayers. Not only did he give me a new partner in life, but he also gave me a beautiful stepdaughter whom I love and cherish. ”
9. “I didn’t marry my wife, I married her entire situation. Now her daughter is now my daughter, and she’s the nicest little girl that I want to protect, love, and cherish for as long as I can. I love my family and my stepdaughter.”
10. “You are not my stepdaughter. You ARE my daughter, who was born before I even met you. And I promise to love you forever and give you support in life.”
11. “Stepdaughter, being a part of your life has inspired me to be the best stepdad I can be.”
12. “Love is not what’s in the veins, but it’s in the heart. My daughter and I may not be related by blood, but I love her with all my heart. And life’s been better ever since I had her. I love my stepdaughter so much.”
13. “My heart just skips a beat when my stepdaughter calls me dad, and she comes running to me so I can pick her up and hold her in my arms. We may not be connected by blood, but I’m pretty sure we’re connected in the most special way.”
14. “We aren’t “step”, we aren’t “half”, we’re just family.”
15. “I’m stunned at how you face situations in life. You inspire me with your strength and wisdom, dear stepdaughter.”
I Love My Stepdaughter Quotes
1. “Dear stepdaughter, I still remember the day you entered my life and forever captured my heart with your radiant smile. You enchanted me with sweetness and tenderness.”
2. “She’s not just my stepdaughter, she’s my best friend too. It’s hard trying to get used to a new family, but I’m glad my stepdaughter is making it so easy for me because she already treats me like her own parent. I love her so much.”
3. “When I love someone, I love with all my heart. And that’s how much I love my stepdaughter. She’s just so sweet and innocent that I’d do anything for her and for my new family that I happily belong to.”
4. “To my ever-loving stepdaughter, I pray that you are successful in life always. You’ve always been good to everyone and especially to me. I and the rest of the family love you very much, and we’ll remind you of that every single day.”
5. “The world’s a brighter place ever since this precious girl became my own, my stepdaughter. Her innocent smile just warms my heart, and all I want to do is love her. She really means so much to me.”
6. “I’ll always support my stepdaughter in her dreams in life. She is a bright young woman and so full of life. Her past mother might not have lived enough to see her shine brighter, but I promise I’ll be there supporting her all the way.”
7. “Love is a mutual thing, and not all stepparents are successful in reciprocating love with their stepdaughter, but that shouldn’t be a reason not to love stepdaughters. It takes time because step-parents need to make their new daughter feel that they’re really treating her like family.”
8. “Life is awesome when you’ve got a stepdaughter to protect. She’s full of sweetness and innocence that all I ever want to do is keep her happy because I treat her as my own. If someone messes with my stepdaughter, then you’ll be facing me.”
9. “My stepdaughter had a hard time adjusting to having me in the house and having me as her new parent, but I’m happy she’s slowly accepting and loving me as part of her family.”
10. “I’m happy and grateful that God gave me a stepdaughter I can share the rest of my life with. Life’s never been this great!”
11. “You define beauty and grace! No, not only on the outside but on both inside and outside. Your inner and outer beauty is enchanting, my stepdaughter.”
12. “Not one day passes by when I don’t thank God for you, my stepdaughter. You have been my best friend since the day you came into my life.”
13. “A stepdaughter is a gift of love.”
14. Every day, I am impressed by your strengths, talents, and your ability to love. Thank you for being an amazing stepdaughter.
15. “Nothing pleases my heart more than the heavenly smile on your face. Bless you, dear stepdaughter. ”
Stepdaughter Quotes For Birthday
1. “Happy birthday, stepdaughter. You are my only child, you are a real daughter to me, dear.” — Carolyn Boston
2. “How fortunate am I to be able to see you grow and share in your special day! Happy birthday my dearest stepdaughter!”
3. “Happy birthday on your big day, darling, and thank you so much for all the love and acceptance that you have given me!”
4. “A stepdaughter who is a best friend in disguise – my dear, you are my life’s biggest prize. Happy birthday.”
5. “Happy birthday stepdaughter, you may not see it, but to me, you are my angel from heaven.”
6. “Be careful with your heart, stepdaughter, I will be here always for advice, happy birthday to you!”
7. “I wish that you are successful in the path you have chosen, happy birthday stepdaughter.”
8. “Happy birthday step daughter – except I don’t need a step because I’ve loved you all along. Have a wonderful time today!”
9. “I’m proud to be able to call someone so lovely and bright as my stepdaughter. On this day, your special day, I want you to know that I hope all your wishes will come true!”
10. “Your past may not be that good, but I promise I will always be here, enjoy your big day!” – Carolyn Boston
Wrapping It Up
Thank you for reading my collection of the best stepdaughter quotes.
You can use these family quotes to express the unconditional love you feel for your dear stepdaughter.
They can also serve you as a reminder for yourself, for her, and for others that sharing love is more important than sharing blood.
Why not share them on social media to motivate other stepparents to do so?
Until next time!
Read next: 120 Heartwarming Proud Daughter Quotes To Inspire You
Characteristics of the main characters of the fairy tale «12 months» by Marshak
- Characteristics of the main characters of the fairy tale «12 months» by Marshak
- 12 months
9 0005 Professor
12 months is a play by Samuil Marshak created in 1942 for the Maly Art Academic Theatre. It was first staged in 1945 at the Novosibirsk Drama Theatre. You should not rummage through the deep sense of the tale, but it has it. The play was created based on a Czech folk tale, but the author managed to criticize Soviet scientists and the authorities, who were ready to go against nature. The queen wanted to get snowdrops in winter, and the authorities dreamed of going against nature by draining the swamps and turning the rivers back. Over time, this turned into several tragedies. For example, the drying up of the Aral Sea. Nevertheless, the Soviet authorities wanted apples to bloom on Mars, and the queen wanted snowdrops in January.
A 14 year old girl depicted as a wayward, capricious and spoiled person. At the very beginning of the tale, she dooms a person to death, since the word «execute» is shorter than the word «pardon». But this is just a shell. In fact, a very lonely person. At the very beginning of the tale, the stepdaughter notices that the queen is an orphan, which means she is not very happy. She lives in greenhouse conditions, surrounded by retinue and liars, but the point is that she is alone in the world of adults, and she does not have a single friend here. This is a world where no kindness can be expressed, and, most likely, there is not a single kind person among her servants, with the exception of the professor, but more on that later.
Paradoxically, the main positive heroine has no name. Yes, and it is described quite schematically. Hardworking, kind, cannot refuse the Stepmother and her daughter. Today, such a person would be called a completely weak-willed and spineless person. However, such women are often liked by the male sex, which is why the young month of April fell in love with her.
12 brothers living in the forest. They feel their power over people, but do not abuse it. They are well acquainted with the Stepdaughter, who is at work all year round and always tries to help her. The winter months are shaggy and bearded old men with a tough character, the summer months are young and strong youths, the spring months are just boys, and the autumn months are men in their prime. December tries to wrap her stepdaughter in trees, and February also helps her. The author gives a more detailed description of his brother April, but he is also described rather schematically — a romantic and loving young man who gave the girl his ring and thereby offered her his friendship and love. For the sake of the unfortunate orphan, they, perhaps for the first time in history, switched places. They say that it is impossible to meet with them, but that’s what it’s like a fairy tale.
Described as a good-natured person, perhaps the only one who loves the Queen for who she is and wishes her well. The personification of a scientist who knows a lot, but obeys the authorities, although he understands how absurd her desires are. He may well turn the rivers back and drain the swamps, he knows what this will lead to, but he cannot refuse the power in the person of the queen.
Another kind character who takes care of the main character. Long years of service did not make him tough, he retained the humanity and beauty of the soul. It was he who explained to the Queen that you need to ask kindly. With his suggestion, she, perhaps for the first time in her life, said the word «Please.»
Described as a negative character. She crushed not only her stepdaughter, but also her spoiled daughter. A real manipulator and careerist. The girls’ father does not appear in the fairy tale, but one can guess that he is completely subordinate to the stepmother, and therefore does not play any role in the fairy tale. The apogee of her cruelty and ability to manipulate was that in the cold month of January she sent her stepdaughter for snowdrops, realizing that the girl would not find anything and would die in the forest.
Described as a lazy creature, but in fact, like her stepmother, she has a commercial streak and a knack for manipulation. So, after the Stepdaughter returned with snowdrops, the girl decided to visit the months and beg them for mushrooms, nuts, apples and cucumbers to sell in the winter market and get rich. As it should be in a fairy tale, the evil was eventually punished: the Stepmother and Daughter were turned into dogs for months and forced to guard their own house.
Stepfathers and stepmothers, stepsons and stepdaughters — Bishop Vissarion (Nechaev)
Bishop Vissarion (Nechaev)
There are men and women who, having lost one — a dearly beloved wife, the other — a dearly beloved husband, take a vow not to remarry. “No,” they say, “I will not bring a stepmother into my house for my children; I will not give a stepfather to my children. I alone, or alone, will be their father and mother together.” And many, with the help of God, manage to fulfill the vow given in the first minutes of grief about the loss of a dear being. We know widows who turned down the lucrative offers of a new marriage and devoted the rest of their days to pious deeds, prayer for their dead husband, and caring for their children, full of love and selflessness. We know men who, having been widowed at a young age, did not look for a new girlfriend in life, rarely appeared in the world, trying in every possible way to avoid meetings and acquaintances that could lead them to violate their vow of fidelity in relation to their deceased wife — and in caring for children , in caring for their upbringing and well-being were not inferior to any other mother. But not all widows remain widowed for the rest of their lives. Due to weakness in the struggle with the flesh, due to unaccustomed to a lonely life, due to the impossibility of combining constant and vigilant personal supervision of children with many other duties and affairs, many widowers find it necessary to look for themselves — a new wife, for orphaned children — a new mother, and for the home — mistresses. And many widowed mothers willingly enter into a second marriage in order to find support for themselves and a patron for their children in a new husband.
Holy Scripture is by no means strictly related to second marriages. It does not consider it a sin if one of the spouses, after the death of the other, enters into a new marriage. The Holy Apostle Paul says: “A wife is bound by the law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is free to marry whomever she wants, only in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:39). He, inviting Bishop Timothy to elect old widows (60 years old) as deaconesses, finds young widows unreliable for this position, and speaks of the latter: «I want young widows to marry, give birth to children, rule the house and not give the enemy any reason to slander» (1 Tim. 5:14). In the Old Testament, a whole book is written in praise of the pious Ruth, who was in a second marriage after the death of her first husband, and in this second marriage she became the foremother of King David, from whose tribe Christ was born. David himself was married to Abigail, the widow of Nabal. Thus, the scripture not only says nothing against a second marriage, but it is also approved. Consequently, nothing can be said against if a young man or girl gives consent to marriage with widowers or widows. On the contrary, they even do a good deed if, at the same time, they take upon themselves the obligation to replace fathers or mothers for orphaned children, as far as it is possible for them. The words of the Savior can be attributed to such stepfathers and stepmothers: “Whoever receives one of these children in My name receives Me” (Mark 9:37).
It cannot be hidden, however, that this lofty undertaking is connected with great difficulties. They come from different directions. Let’s start with the children. It happens that the stepfather or stepmother inherits children whose upbringing is neglected either during the life or after the death of the father or mother. New educators, who have taken the place of their own father and mother, have a hard work to re-educate such children, and this work either turns out to be completely unsuccessful or brings the desired fruits with extreme slowness. Thus, the stepfather or stepmother at the first stages of married life does not always manage to experience happiness and joy, and sometimes you have to shed tears. Another young woman, looking into the heart of her stepson or stepdaughter, becomes discouraged at the mere thought of the mother’s assumed responsibility in relation to them. Difficult are the relations of the stepfather or stepmother mainly to the adult stepson or stepdaughter. It happens that the latter would not like to see a second father or a second mother in their family, and accept them with discontent and even a hostile feeling, especially when the stepfather or stepmother is a little older than them; they are at a loss as to what to call them, and are reluctant to call them father or mother. And often, because of one of the most precious names on earth, the name of a father or mother, a war breaks out in the family and unpleasant scenes are repeated. The side of the children of the first marriage is sometimes kept by their relatives. They try to assert their influence over them and instill coldness in their hearts towards their stepfather or stepmother. Uninvited intermediaries, they find out from the children about the attitude of their stepfather or stepmother towards them, listen to their complaints with participation, and instead of calming the children, they irritate them even more against those whom they complain about. Even strangers consider themselves entitled to intervene in a matter that does not concern them. Everyone wants to be guardians and protectors of their stepson or stepdaughter. If the children are punished, even sometimes unfairly, by their own father or mother, no one pays attention to this. But if a stepfather or stepmother punishes his stepson or stepdaughter at least once, and punishes him for his deed, what noise rises from all sides, as if the greatest injustice has been done! “Here,” they say, “is what it means not to be a father and not a mother!” How much harm there is from imprudent interference, from the imprudent participation of third-party people to stepchildren or stepdaughters!
Married to a widower or widow, sometimes they themselves encounter an obstacle to establishing a right relationship with their children. It is bad if there is no sincere trust between persons in such a marriage, if one half, who has children from the first marriage, suspects the other of being unwilling to them and, out of passion for children, looks through their fingers at their indecent treatment of their stepfather or stepmother; then there is no hope that such a marriage will bring blessed fruits to both parents and children. Then the house is divided into parties, and between them there is a deaf or open war. The cause of family disorders is very often the wrong view of the stepfather or stepmother on their duties. Sometimes a stepfather or stepmother thinks that they do not have any power over their stepsons or stepdaughters, and therefore treat them in a completely unparental way. They forget or do not want to understand that they have received from God full power over them, by the strength of the marital union with their own father or mother — and are indifferent to them, as if they were someone else’s children. They call them «children of their husband or wife,» their transgressions are not warmly taken to heart and do not counteract their bad behavior. What happens as a consequence of this? Children who are not recognized as «their» stepfather or stepmother, for their part, do not consider them to be parents and do not treat them as children should.
It comes to the point that, finally, a stepfather or stepmother suffers obvious neglect and insult from such children and, overwhelmed by the feeling of their powerlessness, only sigh and complain. It goes without saying that marital relations become bad in this case; and all because a clear and firm position has not been adopted in relation to stepchildren and stepdaughters. Finally, a stepfather or stepmother becomes in an unfavorable relationship with stepsons or stepdaughters when both have their own children. It is clear why such relationships occur: the stepfather and stepmother prefer their own children as their own flesh and blood, treat their own children more affectionately, give them an advantage in food and clothing, educate them much more carefully, and inheritances refuse them more. If the stepfather or stepmother themselves are not inclined to allow such inequality between natural and non-native children, then there is no shortage of people who manage to persuade them to this with their advice, saying: “After all, these are your own children, and those of strangers: how can you your own estate to reward other people’s children on an equal basis with your relatives, your direct and legitimate heirs? The consequence of such suggestions is that predilection for one’s own children and injustice to non-natives arm the latter against the former and also against the stepfather and stepmother.
Such and such pitfalls poor people break! And, what is especially remarkable, women break more than men. The name of the stepmother in history is in the form of a darker one than the name of the stepfather. In Holy Scripture, however, there is no mention of a single malevolent stepfather or stepmother; but secular history is rich in such examples. Already ancient Greek legends represent the stepmother in the blackest colors. Among the Romans, the expression: «to complain to the stepmother» meant the same thing as complaining without success. Agrippina, the wife of the Roman emperor Claudius, poisoned her stepson Britannicus in order to put her own son Nero on the throne. It is known how Nero thanked and rewarded his mother: he ordered her to be killed and mocked her corpse. In ancient German legends (sagas), the stepmother is depicted as an evil persecutor of her stepson and stepdaughter: she sees them out of their parental plot, lets them go around the world and even kills them. In Russian proverbs, she also appears in an unattractive form: «The stepmother is kind, but not a mother,» «There is a bear in the forest, and a stepmother in the house» . Unfortunately, experience often confirms the justice of this verdict; who does not know how many stepmothers who bear the mother’s name do not have a mother’s heart?
How should a stepfather and stepmother act so that their stepsons and stepdaughters do not cry at them? They must receive them in the name of Jesus Christ, guided by His words: «Whoever receives one of these children in My name, he receives Me» (Mark 9:37). Stepsons and stepdaughters are given by the same God who gives native children. Therefore, let the stepfather or stepmother reason like this: „These children are given to me as a gift from God; He gave me power over them, and He will one day demand an account for them from me. God, who, in His mercy, blessed to call Himself the father of the Jewish people, when this people in itself, like other peoples, had no right to do so — God, who made His children people who, due to their sins, have lost the right to the sacred name of the children of God — God, who adopted me, a poor, lost sinner, to Himself without any merit on my part, — the same God gave me children who were not born of me ” . These are the eyes with which you should look at your stepson or stepdaughter. And if it seems difficult for you to educate them, then do not forget that raising yourself required and still requires even greater care from your God. Then, as often as possible, pray to the Lord that He will help you treat the stepchildren given to you with the love of your own father or mother. All true love comes from the eternal love of God and is achieved through prayer. And the Lord will hear and fulfill this prayer. He gladly gives that which constitutes His essential attribute, love. And if your heart does not lie with your stepson or stepdaughter, cannot get used to loving them with paternal or maternal tenderness, and if they themselves or their relatives and friends put a barrier between them and your heart, then fall at the foot of the cross of Christ, hide from your sorrows under his beneficial canopy, and a wonderful fruit will fall from it on your soul, that is, love, that very love that elevated the Lord to the height of the cross tree for the salvation and happiness of all of us. The Lord prayed on the cross for His enemies: «Father, let them go, for they do not know what they are doing» . And your stepson or stepdaughter does not know what they are doing when they treat you with coldness and even hostility. Pray only as Jesus prayed, and the Holy Spirit will overshadow and fill your soul with love and peace. Most of all, ask the Lord to strengthen you with His grace to fulfill the duties you have accepted. You know by experience the weakness and fickleness of our nature. A cheerful spirit gives a sincere object of love to a husband or wife and their children born from the first marriage, and a weak flesh makes it difficult to fulfill this vow. You are exhausted in the struggle with various difficulties, and then quiet tears flow from you, then your patience is exhausted, and words of unrestrained anger flow like a river from your chest. Both should not be. Remain only under the tree of the cross — and the weakened knees will be strengthened, and anger will subside. If you are convinced of the sanctity of the duties you have assumed in relation to your stepson or stepdaughter, then not only love for them, but together justice should guide you in the performance of these duties. Remember that power over the children of your wife or husband is given to you by God, and therefore keep this power in a firm hand. Be not only kind to them, but together and strict, at the request of justice. Don’t want them to love you immediately with all the tenderness of a child’s heart; their love for you will grow as their confidence in you grows, as they see the experiences of your love for them and caring for them. People can condemn your behavior, your severity, blame you for the punishments that you sometimes subject the children entrusted to you: you do not pay attention to these gossip and censures, go your own way, be firm in your good intentions, and victory will be on your side; your justice will finally be appreciated, evil tongues will be silent, and people will reverently pronounce your name. Children will understand you, give justice to your behavior towards them, and from day to day they will become attached to you more and more.
In order for the influence of a stepfather or stepmother on a stepson or stepdaughter to be beneficial, their relatives, father or mother, should prepare their young hearts in advance to receive this influence. They must warn them that they fully intend to share their power over them with their stepfather or stepmother. Otherwise, no good can be expected. If, for example, her husband says to her stepmother: “You must not exact anything from my children; you must not order them anything” , then a good stepmother will not bring any benefit to the children. Especially aloud children should never pronounce such and similar words: in their memory they will never die and will be a source of all grief for the stepmother.
A stepfather or stepmother acts truly wisely and in a Christian way if they care about preserving the memory of their own father or mother in the family. A good stepmother always remembers with her children the time when their own mother was alive, and remembers from one good side, not allowing herself to say anything that could present the deceased in an unfavorable light. It is better to remain silent about her mistakes and disapproving qualities and actions than to mention it aloud in front of children. Nothing repels children from their stepmother more than her cold and contemptuous comments about their dead mother. We know stepmothers who, on the days of commemoration of the mother of their stepchildren and stepchildren, take a sincere part in the prayers of her husband and children for her, pray together with them for the repose of her soul in the church, in the cemetery and at home. A kind and prudent stepmother, if possible, preserves the rules and customs established in the house by the first wife of her husband, the mother of his children. Everything goes on in the old way — she only continues what the deceased began. She maintains, as far as possible, friendship with the relatives of the deceased and, if she does not fear harm, allows her children to visit them and travel with them. For good, on the one hand, trust is paid on the other.
The Lord does not leave without reward those who faithfully and honestly perform the duties of a stepfather or stepmother. He rewards them with prosperity in their home life, but the best reward for them is that which is spoken of in the words of the Lord: «Whoever receives one of these children in My name, he receives Me» (Mark 9:37).