Ways to make a baby come: 6 Natural Ways to Induce Labor

Posted on 15 октября, 2023 by alexxlab

6 Natural Ways to Induce Labor

Anecdotal evidence suggests that exercise, sex, and eating certain foods may help move labor along. But it’s best to talk with a healthcare professional before attempting to induce labor.

Your due date is an educated guess of when your baby might arrive.

While many people deliver perfectly healthy babies 2 weeks before or after this presumed due date, it’s recommended that people wait until at least 39 weeks for delivery.

It’s best to let mother nature decide when your baby comes. That said, if you’re 40 weeks in, here are seven natural ways to get things moving.

Most of these methods are anecdotal and don’t have solid evidence that they work, so you should always talk with your healthcare professional before attempting them.

Your midwife or doctor may be unable to confirm that they work, but they can let you know if it’s safe to try with your pregnancy.

1. Exercise

Exercise can be anything that gets the heart rate up, such as a long walk. Even if this method doesn’t work, it’s a great way to relieve stress and keep your body strong for the task ahead.

According to a 2022 study, walking for 30 minutes three times a week at 4 kilometers (km) or 2.5 miles (m) per hour starting from week 38 of pregnancy can help induce labor. It may also help reduce interventions during vaginal delivery.

2. Sex

Though research hasn’t found evidence that having sex actually results in the start of labor, theoretically, there are multiple reasons why having sex could induce labor.

For example, sexual activity, especially having an orgasm, can release oxytocin, which may help jumpstart uterine contractions.

Also, for pregnant people who have sex with men, there are prostaglandin hormones in semen that might help ripen the cervix.

Having sex is safe during the final weeks of pregnancy, but you shouldn’t have sex after your water has broken. Doing so can increase your risk for infection.

3. Nipple stimulation

Stimulating your nipples can cause your uterus to contract and may bring about labor.

Nipple stimulations stimulate oxytocin production. Oxytocin is the hormone that causes the uterus to contract and the breast to eject milk.

In fact, if you choose to breastfeed or chestfeed your baby right after delivery, this same stimulation is what will help your uterus shrink back to its original size.

You or your partner may manually stimulate your nipples, or you can try using a breast pump.

Research shows that breast stimulation can be an effective way to:

induce and augment labor
avoid a medical induction
reduce rates of postpartum hemorrhage

That said, the efficacy appears to be highest after performing breast stimulation for at least three days.

4. Acupuncture

Acupuncture has been used for thousands of years. The exact way that acupuncture works is unclear.

In Chinese Medicine, it’s believed to balance the chi or vital energy within the body. It might also stimulate changes in hormones or in the nervous system.

That said, acupuncture should be administered only by a licensed acupuncturist.

According to research, the main benefit of acupuncture is increased cervical ripening.

5. Acupressure

Some practitioners believe that acupressure can help start labor. Before applying acupressure to yourself, make sure you get proper instruction from a trained acupressure professional.

That said, there isn’t much evidence that acupressure is actually effective in inducing labor. But if acupressure doesn’t get your labor going, it can still be an excellent way to alleviate pain and discomfort during labor.

6. Eating dates

Research shows that eating dates in the final weeks of pregnancy

increases cervical ripening and cervical dilation at the start of labor
decreases the need for Pitocin use during labor

Most pregnant people at 40 weeks are likely ready to have their babies out of their bellies as soon as possible and in their arms.

However, there are plenty of perks to waiting until your body naturally decides to go into labor — including recovery.

Pregnant people who weren’t induced typically recover more quickly than those who were. More time in the womb can mean both you and your new baby get to go home from the hospital sooner.

Infants who are born after a full-term pregnancy also experience other benefits. More time in the womb typically means:

more time to build muscle and strength
reduced risk of low blood sugar, infection, and jaundice
improved breathing as infants born even as little as two weeks early can experience twice the number of complications
better feeding once born
increased brain development, with the brain growing a third of its size between weeks 35 and 40

Let your body do the work for a few more days, and take the time to get as much rest as you possibly can.

We know that’s easier said than done when you’re 9 months pregnant. You and your baby will need all your energy soon enough!

What is the quickest way to induce labor?

If you want to induce labor fast, you need to have it done medically in the hospital. Natural remedies may be able to help, but they’re not a guarantee. If you’ve consulted with your doctor and determined that there is a medical reason for a hospital induction, then methods they might use include giving you medications like pitocin or rupturing your amniotic sac. Learn more about the management of induced labor.

What triggers natural labor?

While various external factors could contribute to triggering natural labor, experts believe the body follows a complex internal mechanism that triggers the uterus to begin contractions.

Before trying anything that might induce labor, speak with your healthcare professional to go over any risks or possible complications.

Though some of these methods are popular folklore among pregnant people, little scientific evidence supports their efficacy.

In most cases, it’s best to let the baby set their birth date, even if it means waiting another week or two.

How to Start Contractions: Inducing Labor Safely

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Medically reviewed by Stacy A. Henigsman, DO — By Jessica Timmons — Updated on July 21, 2021

After 40 long weeks, you’re more than ready to have your baby. Your due date is in sight, and your hospital bag is packed.

You can feel your baby’s kicks and wiggles, but you haven’t had a single contraction yet. You might be wondering what you can you do to speed things up and whether there’s any way to naturally jump-start your labor contractions.

While it’s usually best to wait for your baby to decide when it’s time to make their big debut, there are plenty of things you can try to move things along.

Here are a few safe ways to try to start labor contractions.

With little to no scientific evidence backing up their effectiveness, these methods fall into the realm of folklore. Before trying them, speak to a healthcare professional or birthworker (like a midwife) to get the green light.

Get moving

Movement may help start labor. You don’t have to take a kickboxing class — even a walk around the neighborhood or going up and down a few flights of stairs could do the trick.

The idea is that gravity may help your baby drop farther into the birth canal. This increased pressure may help your cervix dilate.

Even if it doesn’t work, exercise is useful for relieving stress and strengthening your muscles. Just don’t overdo it — you’ll need lots of energy when labor really does begin.

Have sex

Sex is often recommended for getting labor started. It’s safe to try as long as your water hasn’t yet broken.

It may be effective for a few reasons, including the fact that semen is high in prostaglandins. This is a hormone that can cause contractions in uterine muscles.

So, if you’re hoping sex will get things started, your partner should ejaculate inside your vagina.

An orgasm can also stimulate the uterus, and sex in general can release the hormone oxytocin, which causes contractions. For people who begin nursing after baby is born, this same hormone is responsible for shrinking the uterus to its pre-pregnancy size.

Nipple stimulation is another method you might try. Gentle rubbing or rolling the nipple stimulates the breasts and also releases oxytocin.

Try to relax

If you took a childbirth class, you’ve likely learned at least one method of relaxation and may already know which works best for you.

You can also try getting comfortable and visualizing your labor beginning. This is a good way to relieve tension, even if you find it doesn’t do much to start contractions.

Eat something spicy

Hot peppers and spicy meals are foods said to help induce labor. This may be because some spicy foods can trigger the release of prostaglandins as you digest them.

It’s not just spicy foods that some pregnant people swear by to start labor. Everything from pineapple to licorice to Chinese food has been credited with getting the ball rolling.

But remember, unless you’re used to eating these foods, it’s probably not the best idea to introduce something new into your diet just to try starting labor.

Schedule an acupuncture session

Acupuncture is another method of releasing oxytocin in your body. There isn’t a lot of scientific evidence to show how successful acupuncture is in starting labor, but it is a good tension reliever.

Ask your doctor to strip your membranes

At your next prenatal appointment, ask your doctor or birthworker about having your membranes stripped. With a gloved finger, your doctor will separate the amniotic sac from the wall of the uterus.

Doing this can release prostaglandins, which could help move things along.

It’s not uncommon to experience mild cramping or spotting after having your membranes stripped. If the bleeding becomes heavy, however, call your doctor immediately.

Even if none of these methods work to start contractions, remember that the end is near. You won’t be pregnant forever. Soon, you’ll be holding your new baby in your arms.

If nothing seems to be working, just try to get some rest. It’s probably the best thing you can do. Once baby is here, you’re going to need the energy.

Q:

Is it safe to try inducing labor at home?

Anonymous patient

A:

If you’re now full term at 40 weeks, you may be feeling very ready to deliver and meet your baby. If you’ve had an uncomplicated pregnancy with regular prenatal care, you could consider trying at-home methods to kick-start labor. These methods generally tend to be safe, but may not be very effective. Always check with your doctor before trying to induce labor on your own.

University of Illinois – Chicago, College of MedicineAnswers represent the opinions of our medical experts. All content is strictly informational and should not be considered medical advice.

Was this helpful?

Last medically reviewed on July 21, 2021

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How we reviewed this article:

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Duryea E. (2017). The truth about “natural” ways to induce labor.
utswmed.org/medblog/truth-natural-labor/
Gill P, et al. (2020). Induction of labor.
ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK459264/
Raspberry leaf tea. (n.d.).
boltonft.nhs.uk/services/maternity/information/complementary-therapies/raspberry-leaf-tea/

Our experts continually monitor the health and wellness space, and we update our articles when new information becomes available.

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Medically reviewed by Stacy A. Henigsman, DO — By Jessica Timmons — Updated on July 21, 2021

8 simple steps to teach children to respect and hear their parents?

Naughty children: why did they not please their parents?
In order for such children to behave «normally», adults have to make efforts: to restrain, control, repeat, refuse, punish and warn. And that’s the point: we don’t want to strain ourselves by raising children. It would be more convenient for the child to be controlled like a toy with a remote control.

You tell your child: “You need to wash your face” or “Wash your hands!”, but he does not listen to you. You remind that it’s time to break away from the computer and sit down for lessons, he frowns with displeasure: «Leave me alone!» — Of course, it’s a mess.

Smart parents have funny, smart and obedient children. Moreover, smart and loving parents take care of this: they make sure that their children are not only smart, but also obedient. This seems obvious: if you want to teach a child to do good things, you first need to teach him to obey you elementarily.

Unfortunately, ordinary children have long been accustomed to not listening to their parents: you never know what they say! And the point here is not in the children, but in us, in the parents, when we say things that are important for us to the children somehow not seriously, not paying attention to whether the children are listening to us or not, when we put forward our demands unconvincingly.

Your requests should be calm but clear instructions, sound weighty and be accompanied by control. The child must know that your words are not empty words, and if you warn that toys that are not removed are thrown away, they really disappear. If a parent approaches a child with a confident request, knowing that he has leverage, the child will respond to such a request.

But it’s not just about the right wording and levers of influence, there is another important trick in building relationships with a child, namely, whether your child has a HABIT to obey you. «To obey or not to obey parents» is determined not only by what and how the parents say, it is also determined simply by the child’s habits.

There are children who have the habit of mindlessly obeying everyone, and there are children who have the same habit of mindlessly disobeying anyone. Obeying «everyone» or «no one» are equally bad habits, but the habit of obeying selectively, namely, OBEYING YOUR PARENTS, is a great habit! Your children should have the habit of paying attention to what you say, the habit of doing what you ask them to. Teach your child to listen and obey you, and you will have your parental authority, you will have the opportunity to raise a developed and thinking person from your child.

Is it difficult to get your children into this habit? Much depends on age: it is difficult to teach a teenager to obey his parents, it is almost impossible for many mothers, and developing such a habit in a small child is a solvable task. In principle, the sooner you begin to develop in your child the habit of listening and obeying you, the easier it will be for you.

The easiest method to help you with this is the «Eight Steps» method. Its idea is to teach your child to obey you, starting with the simplest, most elementary things, and very gradually, methodically move step by step to more difficult things. From simple to complex.

First, we do what any parent can do with any child, then we add a little, then a little more — and so we go a long way from a natural child to a well-bred child who already understands that people who are loving and more experienced than him should obey correctly.

The age at which the Eight Steps algorithm works best is from 2 to 12 years. After 12 years, a well-bred child should already become your friend and helper, you are no longer so much raising him, but helping him in his self-education, helping him to solve life’s tasks in the best way.

Now let’s get down to business. What are these steps?

Step 1: Addition.

As the King from Antoine Saint-Exupéry’s fairy tale «The Little Prince» said, controlling the sunrise is easy, you just need to know when the sunrise occurs. Say at the right moment: «Sun, rise!», and you will become the lord of the rising sun… So is the child: if the child does not obey you yet, he still does something. Go from what is, adapt to what he does, and direct his activity in the direction you need.

The child runs, you shout to him: «Well done, faster, faster!» — he happily adds speed.

Sit down at the table, you know what the child loves, what he will still reach for. Get ahead of him: «Take your favorite bread!» You said he took it.

Little Nikita likes to clap his hands. «How does Nikita clap her hands? — Clever girl, Nikita! And now, Nikita, show me how the car hums! … Wonderful!» — you teach him to do what you tell him. He is one and a half years old, and he is already learning to listen to you and obey.

If you can’t manage, take the lead. You cannot (yet) control the behavior of the child — adapt to what he does anyway, and what he wants to do himself.

Step 2: Taming: Train to come when called.

Do you know what «attach» means? The fisherman throws food into the river — he attracts fish. When an ancient man decided to tame wild dogs, he also started with affection, then he began to feed them, then stroke them, and gradually taught them to run up to him when he called them. Have you already tamed your children? Do they come running to you when you call them? If your children are still wild, start like an ancient man by taming them.

Your child likes to crunch apples or nibble cookies: your task is to make sure that access to these sweets is not free, but only through you. This is not in the vase, but you can give it to your child. Now you don’t wait until he starts begging from you, but choosing a good time, you yourself announce: “Who wants a tasty apple, quickly runs to me!”, “Cookies, cookies, delicious cookies for obedient kids.” Children run, you treat them and pat them on the head: «Well done, how quickly you run to your mother!» So the hunt has taken place — you are already accustoming children to come to you when you call them.

Invite your child to you — and praise him when he comes to you! A bait can be not only food, but everything that the child likes: and squeeze the cream on the cake, and cut the bread, and the time when you can play with the child in the games that he loves. «Mom has five minutes! Whoever comes running quickly can play hide and seek with her!» Important: if a child comes running, you reinforce it: give a bait and praise. If the child is in no hurry to run, comes later and demands, you don’t give a bait: “That’s it! It’s all over!”, but you prompt: “When mom calls, you need to run quickly!”. Teach your child to fulfill your requests, reinforcing it with joy.

Step 3. Learning to negotiate.

Your child will be intelligent and not capricious if you teach him to use his mind. And for this, take the time to explain to the child what is good and what is bad — and teach him to negotiate. You can try to talk intelligently with a child even at two years old, and if your child is already three years old, this is already a must. Teach your child to negotiate and fulfill agreements!

You and your child are on the playground, it’s time for you to leave, but the child doesn’t want to leave, he wants to play more. Just command?

The child may begin to protest with a roar. What to do?

Negotiate.

The first agreement — before coming to the playground. “You want to go to the playground, but we can’t play there for a long time, I will need to return home, cook dinner. You promise me that when I say that it’s time for us, you won’t cry, but will say goodbye to all the children and go home with me? You won’t detain me?” The second conversation is when it’s time for you to leave. Most likely, the child will begin to whine: «Mom, I have a little more!». Here your task is to calmly cut him off from the players and discuss how to behave correctly in such a situation. “If you promised that you would not whine and cry when you need to go home, you can’t whine and cry. Otherwise, how will they believe you next time?”

Here it is important that respect for agreements is supported by all close adults, there is only one position: «Agreed — it is necessary to fulfill it. And whoever does not fulfill the agreements is a violator, a whim and a small one, nothing serious can be allowed to him.» We agree and do not be capricious.

Step 4: No whims.

An obedient child not only DOes what you ask him to do, he also STOPS doing what you do not like. The child tries to fight the will of his parents through his whims and tantrums, and your task at this step is to stop reacting to them in any way. Learn to do your own thing without reacting to the whims of the child — in those cases when you yourself are sure that you are right and you know that everyone will support you.

You are all hurrying to the train, packing your things. In this case, the whims of the child «Come play with me!» will be easily ignored by everyone, including grandmothers. Teach your child that there are important things to do. Teach your child to say, «This is important.» If you sat down in front of him and, looking into his eyes, holding his shoulders, calmly and firmly say: «Adults now need to get together, and we will play with you later. This is important!» — then soon the child will begin to understand you. It is important!

Step 5: Requirements.

Your child already quickly comes running to you when you call him with something tasty, he stopped being capricious and no longer throws tantrums. As a rule, he will do what you asked him to do, but he is not yet used to the fact that you can seriously demand something from him. Requests are soft, while demands are hard and mandatory. Is that the way to listen? At this step, again act consistently, but carefully, at first demand a minimum and only when everyone supports you.

The child has already grown up enough to… In order not to take away a toy from someone else’s child, to pick up a fallen mitten yourself, to put porridge in your mouth on your own… — Always look for those moments when your demands will be supported by everyone around you, so that even grandmothers would at least remain silent.

If you have too many demands on your child, if he does not keep up with your numerous demands, or if you do not have the support of others, do not push. Like politics, education is the art of the possible. Napoleon himself taught his commanders: «Give only those orders that will be carried out.»

Nevertheless, gradually remove the bait as something obligatory, start calling the child already without rewarding him with something tasty. It’s time to teach the child that if mom (especially dad) is his name, you need to come simply because he was called. If he doesn’t go right away, they repeated it, but achieved it. And now they drew his attention to the fact that you had to wait for him, and asked him to come when his mother calls. No need to swear, just say: «When mom calls, you need to come right away!» — and kiss! Slowly, your child will begin to learn it.

Step 6: Responsibilities.

Requirements are one-time, while duties are a system of permanent requirements for a child. The time has come to teach the child that each member of the family has his own responsibilities, and he must participate in family affairs on an equal basis with mom and dad. Having explained this to the child, begin to confidently give him tasks, but also act gradually here: let him first choose his duties according to his strength, let him do what is not difficult for him, or, all the more, even want a little.

This step is more difficult for mothers than for children. Moms really want to do everything themselves and not strain the child. So, dear mothers and, in principle, parents, make sure that the child always has things to do at your request. The child should not fade away the understanding that he has tasks, and he must do it. Clean up the bed, take away the cup, wash the dishes, run to the store — most likely, it’s easier and cheaper for you to do it all on your own, but you are educators, so your task is to restrain yourself, not to do it yourself and entrust it to the child every time.

At first, the child has to be reminded of his duties, after a while the duty to remember should fall on the child himself. Remembering your responsibilities is also the responsibility of the child!

Step 7: Self-reliance.

When a child already knows what duties are, it’s time to teach him to be independent. The ability to obey is the basis of smart independence. The independence of an obedient child lies in the fact that you can already give him difficult tasks in the confidence that he will complete them completely on his own, without your help and prompts. It’s not just “Go to the store” or “It’s your responsibility to take out the bucket”, but “Pack up all the things you will need on the trip”, “Grandma needs help digging a garden in the country”, “Toothache? Call the clinic, find out when the doctor is, go and get your teeth fixed. ” As usual, not everything will turn out right away, at first the child will need your tips, help and support, but the more often he begins to successfully cope with difficult assignments, the faster he will wake up a taste for independence. So, move from simple to complex, from dense, frequent and specific clues to rare and general clues, and thus gradually move on to more and more difficult and independent tasks, mostly on the most positive background, with small irregular reinforcements and rare large ones.

Ideally, if you go somewhere for a relatively long time, your child should be able to live without you without major problems. He is already on his own!

Step 8: Responsibility.

Well, the last step remains: responsibility. Women do not really like the word «responsibility», they are closer to «caring», but there is a difference between these words: a caring person pays only with efforts and soul, and a person responsible for his mistakes pays really. If you entrust a child with a responsible task, for this, in the event of a puncture, either the child or you will have to pay. But children grow up, it’s time to acquaint them with responsibility, and now you entrust the child with not just deeds, but responsible deeds: those for which you need to answer to other people or, simply, pay for mistakes.

You instructed a child to place an expensive service on the table. Or put money in the bank. Or — to bring a little sister from the kindergarten … Will she not break it? Will not lose? Will not forget?

When taking on a responsible task, the child already knows the price of a mistake, and treats the assignment responsibly: he will think everything over, remember, follow up and check, and he will definitely report back to you at the end.

When a child learns this too, you can be proud — you are already an adult. You have raised an adult, responsible person! Remember, it all started with quiet, neat outbuildings to a completely naughty child?

Of course, and after that no one will promise you that your children will become angels and will never disobey you. Everything is possible, our children do not always obey us. Sometimes it happens by accident, sometimes on purpose. How to react to it? Calmly. If you act wisely, you will solve this issue without difficulty.

By the way, is there anything after the eighth step, after the formation of responsibility in the child? Your child is not only ready to fulfill your requests, he knows his duties, he is a completely independent and responsible person. And it’s all? Is there anything else we want to give our child? Tell me, when and how will we set the task so that our children grow up as loving people?

Should children listen unquestioningly to their parents?
There can be no unequivocal answer to this question precisely because parents are different. There are parents — alcoholics, there are — smart and loving. If we talk about smart and loving parents, then our answer will be positive: yes, children should obey such parents implicitly. Why? For what? Because smart and loving parents love their children and will never demand from their children what will be harmful to children. Such parents love to just talk to their children, spend time with them — and listen to what the children share with them. You don’t often hear demands on your children from them, and they demand only what is really necessary.

5 years old: when going out on the road, you need to take your mother by the hand and not play around here. 10 years: first lessons, then computer games. 15 years: at 22.00 — sleep!

Usually they don’t even demand it, but gently ask, rather suggest and remind, and this is enough.

How to raise an independent and responsible child? 10 tips — article — Corporation Russian textbook (Drofa-Ventana publishing house)

Being responsible means being able to make decisions on your own and consciously implement them. Independence is not a heavy burden, but a system of skills and values that are useful and important for later life. It will be easier and more comfortable to live with them, make friends and achieve goals.

This is the kind of understanding a child should come to. He must realize that responsibility gives a person respect from others, confidence in himself and his strengths, the possibility of self-control and control over various life situations, and also brings meaning to life itself. Children, like all of us, need to feel that they are important to this world and can make a meaningful contribution to it.

We are not born with the ability to take responsibility for our actions, but acquire these qualities throughout our lives. And how correctly parents, teachers and educators can approach the issue of developing responsibility in a child, how responsible and independent he will grow.

Pay attention to an important nuance: children will be responsible to the extent that we support and guide them.

10 ways to raise a responsible child

1. Learn to clean up after yourself

If your child accidentally spilled a glass of milk, broke a cup, scattered shoes along the corridor so that the laces fall like vines on his nose, do not rush:

a) scold him;
b) put things in order.

Say:

“There is nothing wrong with spilled milk. We will clean everything together now. Help me please!

Then the child will not feel fear and try to lie that it is not his fault.

He will learn to clean up any mess on his own much faster if you treat the situation with understanding. Ask your child for help, even if you think it would be easier to do everything on your own.

Situation: five-year-old Olya left her shoes in the middle of the corridor. Pick them up, call the girl and politely ask to put the shoes in the locker:

— We always put our things away.

If your approach is positive and friendly, the child will not become defensive and refuse cleaning, but will want to help himself.

2. Learning to take care of the family

Find healthy child habits that make a positive contribution to family well-being. It can be friendly communication with a brother or sister, drawing or singing, weekly cleaning with dad to the music, phone calls with relatives, etc. Celebrate this by praising the child, saying that such actions benefit the whole family. Then such behavior will become a pleasant habit for him, and not at all a duty.

As your children get older, their “contributions” may increase accordingly both inside and outside the family. Children should share two kinds of responsibilities: self-care and contributing to the well-being of the family. Research shows that children who help around the house are more likely to offer to help others in other life situations.

3. The main thing is desire

If you do not want your child to perceive his contribution to «family duties» as hard work, but treat this activity with pleasure, do not force him to do household chores. Let him have a desire.

Your goal is not to get the child to do some work, but to motivate the child and nurture in him the desire to be useful and responsible. Make work fun. Give as much support and help as circumstances require. Screaming and coercion are never an option. You will achieve a one-time victory, and Senya, Vanya, Sasha and Alina will simply hate washing dishes, cleaning up toys, folding clothes on a shelf and packing a backpack on their own.

Some children become responsible very easily, others require a lot of time and parental patience to develop this quality. But the goal is clearly worth the effort!

4. We teach to show independence and help around the house

The child may have their own household chores. Such duties do not have to be important and can take the form of a game.

It is important to understand that with the help of even small assignments, the child understands what duties are and what is expected of him. It may be as simple as making your bed every morning or putting the dishes in the sink after breakfast, but the child must follow this habit every day.

Important: if you do not maintain discipline and violate your own rules of the game, for example, by allowing «just today to go play, not help with the dishes», the little person will not develop a logical chain. Or rather, it will obviously not turn out the way one would like: “today you can not do it, which means it’s always optional.”

When the child goes to school, the task can be made more difficult: not only to remove your dishes from the table, but also to wash them. This helps to develop the necessary skills of household responsibility.

5. Stop criticizing

A very difficult point, right? Especially if you think that the child should clean his room, just like you yourself did a long time ago. But your child is not you. And you are not your parents.

Try to be patient when the child forgets to do something or does not complete the task the way you would like. When something goes wrong, take it with humor.

In the morning, instead of shouting: “Brush your teeth! Get your backpack!» You may be asking, “What else do you need to do to get ready for breakfast? It looks like we forgot something! And the briefcase is somehow suspiciously light. .. We must have got a thief mouse!”

Your task is to teach the child to be responsible for his duties, while maintaining a relaxed atmosphere.

6. Creating the necessary conditions

In order for a child to become independent and responsible, it is necessary to create comfortable conditions for him not only psychologically, but also in everyday life. Give him the «equipment» he needs for self-discipline. If you want your baby to wake up on time, provide him with an alarm clock. If you want to keep their desk organized, make sure your child has things to store stationery. Give your child the tools and let them organize their work.

Additionally: a child is very motivated if you allow him to independently choose things for storage, stationery, calendars and planners, decor in the room. Go to the site with him (it’s not possible to go to Ikea or another furniture store yet) and start choosing items. If the child has the opportunity to make the space «his own», he will be very pleased to keep it clean.

7. We give the child the opportunity to figure it out on his own

Parents try to protect the child from all problems and hardships. Very often this is of an exaggerated nature, and children enter adulthood unprepared. A teenager must understand that around him is a rather complex world, where everyone has their own tasks and obligations.

As parents, you should always be ready to listen to your child and come to his aid if he asks for it. But do not forget that sometimes children themselves need to analyze their actions, behavior and the ensuing consequences.

8. Encourage

Sometimes children benefit from work experience for a certain fee. It is not necessary to start with large sums. Try to negotiate with your child about those tasks that are not included in his usual daily routine: washing the car, weeding the garden, watering the flowers, etc. Gradually, you can offer him to do something more substantial, for example, a part-time job during the holidays. In this way, you will prepare the child for an adult and responsible life, where everything has its price.

Example: Sixth grader Katya really wanted to get a new book about her favorite wizard, but her birthday has already passed. Mom and dad suggested that Katya make a list of things she could help with around the house and play on a «working day» with a real salary and motivating bonuses. For two weeks, Katya helped her mother with dinner, her younger brother with lessons, and her father in the yard, regularly cleaned the room and walked Dink’s dog.

9. Learn to make a schedule

This may seem redundant to some, but in modern life, scheduling and scheduling is considered an extremely useful skill.

Sit down together, take a piece of paper, write the day of the week and the time on it. Then ask the child what he needs to do these days, what plans he has. He will say something himself, you will help him remember something. These may be the most insignificant things, but it is better to include them in the schedule too.

Most children find that this kind of planning reduces their stress levels because they know what to do and when. But most importantly, it helps to manage your time properly and treat your obligations responsibly.

10. Strive to be a good example

Children learn and discover the world through their own observations and parents. They subtly notice exactly how you communicate, behave in everyday life, what your style of conversation is, and how you yourself keep promises and treat your duties.

If you yourself are responsible for your actions, then the child will begin to imitate your behavior.

Example 1 Negative

— Oh, the cup broke! Well, I’m crooked, huh!

You scold yourself for a minor mistake, the child sees that any of his mistakes in the future will lead to an unpleasant feeling of resentment and, probably, censure from others.

Example 2 Negative

— The cup is broken. Probably, dad left her on the edge again! Well, I told you a hundred times to put it in the closet, you dumbass!

It is impossible to scold relatives in front of a child under any circumstances. There should be harmony in the family — observing your relationships with loved ones, the child builds his own patterns of behavior. And here there is also a transfer of responsibility. It was not mom who broke the cup, but dad is to blame for everything, the «blunder». Double negative lesson.

Example 3. Positive

“Oops, the cup broke. It’s OK! I’ll be more careful next time. Right, Sasha? We all need to be a little more careful. Let’s organize an operation to save the floor from fragments. Bring a broom, I will correct mistakes, and you will help me.

Every age has its own responsibilities

Another question that parents often ask is: at what age can you ask a child to do something on their own?
The list of responsibilities below is just a guide and should be adapted to your situation and your child. Do not forget to gradually increase the degrees of freedom and responsibility that you offer children. And try to give them as much help as they need to successfully complete the level of the quest «until they master it comfortably.

What babies can be responsible for:

What to wear.

Eat on their own (unless they ask for your help).

What book to read, even if parents read aloud to them.

What toys to play with.

When to go to the toilet.

What can preschoolers be responsible for (3-5):

All of the above, plus:

Their own clothes (within the appropriate season, safety and propriety).

Their own rooms.

How much food do you need.

With whom and when to play.

Whether to attend social events to which the child is invited (excluding mandatory family events).

What can school-age children be responsible for (6 to 9 years):

All of the above, plus:

What hairstyle to wear.

How to spend pocket money.

When to do homework.

How to pass the time (after completing basic duties such as homework).

What kind of sports or physical activity to engage in (the choice of circles is similar).

What can 10-12 year olds be responsible for:

All of the above, plus:

Self-care: nails, hair, body.

Choose routes and company for walks (within acceptable limits).

Stay alone at home.

What teenagers aged 13-15 can be responsible for:

Choose the hours of the morning (with the condition that everything needs to be on time).

Wash clothes yourself.

Temporary changes in appearance.

Ride the bus or subway.

Go to the cinema and other events where you need to pay with friends.

Earn money not at the expense of learning.

Control your budget.

And most importantly — do not forget to praise the child for any manifestation of independence.

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